


Fluffy Clouds and Stormy Days

by AliceAktorka



Series: A Windy Road [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, High School, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-24 04:37:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20700062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceAktorka/pseuds/AliceAktorka
Summary: Susanne Kelly is a bright and cheerful girl who has a childish innocence.At least, that's what everyone believes.The truth is, Susanne's been hiding behind a mask and faking it, due to misfortunes that occurred in her life.One day, she nearly breaks down in history class, and a friend of hers later notices her odd behavior. She invites Susanne to the nearby beach after school, and Susanne is met with a decision.Should she join her friend and risk letting the bottle of emotions shatter, or go home to her sentimental stuffed animal?





	Fluffy Clouds and Stormy Days

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story as a part of a creative writing class, and I'm still quite proud of it. I wanted to share it with others because my friend loves it so much. I hope you enjoy it! If you like it enough, I might post the sequel that I wrote as the class final.

Susanne Kelly sighed and put her head on the desk, letting the history lecture wash over her. She didn’t really pay much attention to what was being said by the teacher, she simply didn’t have the motivation. For some reason, today was a particularly bad day for the blonde girl. Then again, in all honesty, every day was a bad one in her eyes. She never felt much joy or happiness. This would come as a big shock to all of her friends. She always acted so chipper, high-spirited and childishly innocent, always greeting them with an over-eager smile and wave. They’d be shocked if they were told about the negative thoughts that swirled in Susanne’s brain over and over, like a hurricane growing and bringing terrible storms. Not that Susanne would  _ ever  _ let her friends know. She didn’t want to disappoint them. She was also deathly afraid of how they might respond to the truth. She already knew and told herself each day how worthless and burdensome she was to the entirety of the planet, but somehow, the idea of those closest to her confirming these thoughts was a horribly terrifying idea. Maybe instead they’d be overly concerned over her. Wouldn’t that be worse though? She didn’t wish to waste their time and emotions more than she already probably did. She was just so annoying and meaningless and stupid and----

“Susanne! This is the third time I called your name! Are you falling asleep in class again?” 

Susanne’s head shot up as she heard the stern voice of the teacher interrupting her thoughts. “N-no, Miss Crossett! My apologies…!” She stammered, her heart pounding in her chest at the unwanted spotlight upon herself. 

“Then, can you please answer the question I wrote on the board about the topic I just discussed…?”

Susanne swallowed in dread as she looked at said question, finding herself unable to answer. “Uh-uhm...I-I...U-uhm…!” The girl stared at the words, finding the whole room beginning to spin. Her dark blue gaze bound around the room from person to person, object to object, as if hoping to find something, anything at all to help her in this stress-inducing situation.

Miss Crossett huffed with disappointment. “Just as I suspected. Please pay attention next time Miss Kelly! You don’t want to do poorly on the assessments now, do you?” 

Susanne bowed her head down in immense shame and discontentment with herself. “U-understood, Miss Crossett…” She murmured. The teacher gave a curt nod and went back to discussing to the class. Susanne, meanwhile, kept her head bowed and attempted to suppress the urge to break down in tears right then and there. She was such a failure. Look at her. She was sixteen years old and she couldn’t manage to answer one simple question without wanting to bawl like a baby. She was quite fortunate that none of her friends shared her history class. She had no idea how that’d turn out. 

All she wanted to do right now was go home. Frankly, it didn’t really matter to her if her grumpy Uncle Dave would scold her as he usually did. Not that she could blame him anyway. She deserved every last negative word.

What she really wanted was her big fluffy sheep plush named Cloud. The stuffed animal had been given to Susanne as a gift from her mother. Susanne had a bad day at Elementary school, pushed around and teased by bullies. She was in tears by the time she arrived back home. Her mother had seen the girl’s sorrow and told her to wait on the couch while she went up to the attic. The woman soon descended holding a large fuzzy sheep. She promptly gave the toy to Susanne, who started stroking its soft wool. Her mother went on to tell that the sheep was named Cloud and was her comfort mechanism as a young girl. She wanted her daughter to keep it for whenever she needed something to squeeze during rough moments. Susanne had proceeded to thank her mother before burying her face in the plush. The older woman hugged the girl and held her close, kissing her forehead and telling her how much she loved her "little Susie". 

Of course, Susanne’s life wasn’t very happy for long. Ever since her mother passed tragically in a car crash, Susanne’s life and any happiness in it began to fade. She never knew her father and her mother never really spoke about it, and Susanne was an only child, so to lose her only close family member, especially one who was so caring and sweet, hit Susanne with a force like a brick being thrown harshly in her direction. It was only made worse when Uncle Dave became her guardian, since the man viewed Susanne as his sister’s mistake. He’d say things like "I told that woman to be careful with who she messes around with, and look what happened as a result!" Of course, these statements would only push Susanne’s sadness to whole new levels.

All of that aside, Susanne kept focusing on one thing and one thing alone: Cloud. She could already feel the soft fabric under her fingers and how it’d feel to press her face into it and let all of her emotions loose in the form of tears. Maybe if she was lucky, her orange tabby tom cat named Boots would come over, sensing her distress and nuzzle her comfortingly. She knew she was childish to think about hugging a plush and crying into it, but frankly, she already was a lost cause. What did it matter if she continued becoming a worse failure?

Susanne was completely unaware of how far off into space she stared and jumped in surprise at the sound of the bell. She quickly gathered up her things and hurried out the door before Miss Crossett could attempt to approach her. Her relief was soon replaced with a dread that built up in her stomach. The next period was lunch. She’d see her friends... _ right after she almost broke down. _ Susanne honestly couldn’t think of any worse of a time. Sucking it up, she forced energy that didn’t exist through her body and began to skip through the halls, using the happy mask that she had developed for whenever she was around her friends. She bounded into the lunch room and saw her friends already conversing with one another at a table. They probably didn’t even see or notice her. She could just disappear right here, right now, and no one would be alarmed. She really truly was that annoying and easy to forget. Why was she still—

Her thoughts were once again interrupted by the sound of her name being called. This voice belonged to none other than Marie, who was well known for being a grade-A student. She had hazel colored hair with a slight curl that she kept up in a perfect bun. Her eyes shone a brilliant mixture of a pale brown and green. She wore glasses that were a gentle green in color. “Hey Susie! Come on and sit down, there’s a spot right here for you!” Marie called sweetly with a smile. 

Susanne took another deep breath, securing her facade before hopping over to the table and taking a seat, which just so happened to be next to Marie. She gave a big smile, hoping it looked real enough. The other students at the table gave Susanne words of greeting before returning to their conversations, laughing and chattering joyously. Susanne sighed softly and stared at her food, contemplating every decision she made. She nearly flew out of her seat like a terrified cat at the sound of Marie’s voice. 

“Hey Susie, are you feeling alright? Did a class not go well today?” Marie asked sympathetically.

The blonde girl’s gaze darted around in pure and unaltered panic. “U-uhm!” She stumbled over what to say. She couldn’t let her mask fall. Never! Doing her best to remain calm she responded, “O-oh! I’m just a bit tired is all. Nothing to worry about!” She grinned in an over-exaggerated manner. 

Marie frowned for a second but soon dropped the subject by replying with an “Oh, okay then. Make sure you get plenty of sleep, alright…?”

Susanne nodded wordlessly. There was a few moments pause before Marie once again broke the silence. “Hey, Susie, want to head over to the beach after school? You know, get some fresh air, maybe dip our toes in the water? Plus, it’d be relaxing after a tiring day of school.”

Susanne hesitated for a few seconds. She really didn’t want to bother Marie with taking her to the beach, but she also didn’t want to disappoint the brown haired-girl. Plus, going to the beach and having fun was the kind of thing this fake personality would adore. Anything to keep her mask up, right? But then again, she still very badly wanted to come home to Boots and Cloud, no matter how childish and stupid it sounded. She surprised herself a little bit with an answer of, “Sure thing! That sounds like it’d be really fun!” 

Marie smiled happily to the blue-eyed girl. “Alright, great! I’ll meet you at the school exit after school ends, does that sound good?”

Susanne nodded. “Okie dokie lokie!” She replied chipperly. Ugh, that sounded so immature and stupid. Why had she said that? Did she ever say anything she didn’t immediately regret? Once again, the bell rang and Susanne quickly got up from her seat upon the realization that she hadn’t really eaten anything and she didn’t want more questioning from Marie. She rushed over to her next class and took a seat.

The rest of the day was rather uneventful. Susanne did space out quite a few times in various classes. She kept on thinking about Cloud, and how badly she wished to hug the stuffed animal, hoping it’d take all of her worries and frets away, even if it was only for a moment. Why had she agreed to go with Marie? Susanne was wasting both her and Marie’s time. Then again, when wasn’t she wasting others’ time? She couldn’t be sure. Most likely never. This intimidating parade of thoughts continued while she filled her backpack at the end of the day with what she would need. Still, they persisted as she stepped over to the rendezvous point and saw Marie, who waved happily. Susanne waved back, acting overly energetic as per usual. 

“Hey, Susie! Follow me over to my car. I can drive us over, it’s a fairly short ride anyway. That’s an upside about attending Chincoteague High School, isn’t it? We are only a five minute drive away from the beach!” 

Susanne nodded. “Yeah, you do have a point,” She giggled with false joy. The two girls then headed over to Marie’s car, exchanging short words. The car ride was also rather ordinary, not that it was a bad thing. Susanne watched the trees as they passed by. The green and leafy trees were there one second, but gone the next. Susanne wasn’t poetic or philosophical, but she couldn’t help but feel this was symbolic in some way. It was like life, each moment blurring with the next. She blinked out of her daze as the vehicle came to a stop. Marie stepped out of the car and Susanne followed. The two girls quietly walked down to the beach, their footsteps muffled by the sand. Not many others were around due to the time and the fact that it wasn’t summer. It was quite nice that way. Susanne and Marie stepped closer to the water, watching the waves as they rhythmically crashed onto the shore. Susanne observed as they turned white and foamy and wetted the sand before retreating back into the ocean.

Marie turned towards Susanne and asked, “Do you want to take our shoes off and step in a bit?” 

Susanne snapped away from her thoughts at the question. She then nodded. “Sure, why not?” She answered. The two girls then proceeded to take their shoes off, holding the footwear in one hand as they stepped just enough for the water to wash over their feet at every wave. It was cold and Susanne could feel the grit and sand that the waves carried with them. She didn’t really mind. Susanne found it to be calming in a sense. She looked out to the wide expanse of the sea and once more blanked out. Memories overwhelmed her. She suddenly found herself as a young girl, giggling and splashing around in the water. Her mother swooped in and picked her up, causing more laughs to erupt from the blonde girl. As the vision continued, Susanne was so lost in it that she hardly noticed that tears were quietly falling down her cheeks like rain. 

“Susie…? What’s wrong…? You can talk to me you know,” Marie told the other girl reassuringly.

Susanne inhaled sharply.  _ Oh no. _ No no no no no! This couldn’t be happening! She’d never let her mask fall before! What should she do? What should she say? What did Marie think of her? Did she think she was a horrible person for ruining their time at the beach together? Would she stop being friends with her? How could she move on from this? Should she go home and never leave her room? Wither away into nothingness? 

Susanne hadn’t even noticed she had turned to run away until she felt a firm grip on her shoulder. She turned her head to see Marie gazing towards her with worry. The blonde’s heavy breathing got worse. Why was Marie looking towards her with such concern? Susanne didn’t deserve such emotions and didn’t wish to waste them. 

“ _ Susanne! _ Please! Susie, talk to me. Something is freaking you out, I can tell. You can’t hide it from me anymore, Susie. Please, let me know what’s going on. You may find that you’ll feel a lot better afterwards.” Marie stated soothingly.

Susanne hiccupped pathetically through her tears. Here she was again, crying her eyes out for no good reason. “I-I...I-I…” She attempted to find the right words, the right thing to say, but she had nothing. 

“It’s okay...you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to-”

Marie was interrupted by Susanne shaking her head and responding, “N-no! I-I do want to tell you...I want to get it all off my chest, but it’s...new...and...scary...and...different…”

“That’s alright, take deep breaths and talk through it slowly.” Marie instructed.

Susanne nodded, breathing in and out to calm her nerves. After a few moments, she stated, “I...I’m actually not as happy as I seem...the overly energetic girl you see waving to you eagerly each and every day...t-that...that’s not me...it’s just a persona...everyday I feel horrible about myself...self-deprecating thoughts fill my brain...and I let them...because I feel I deserve them...a-and I created the mask to wear around my friends, because I didn’t wish to bother or worry them about my problems and I didn’t want to waste their time or emotions on me...a-and frankly...I...I’m scared of such emotions being directed towards me…”

Marie pulled Susanne into a hug, and the blonde gratefully returned the embrace. A few tears ran down from her blue eyes, and at first, she held them back, not wanting to wet Marie’s shirt, but the brown haired girl soon nodded an ‘it’s okay’. While Susanne cried, Marie consoled her. “Hey...it’s okay...you needn’t worry...it’s perfectly understandable to be afraid right now...but, if you try to trace back the fear’s origins, perhaps it’ll help you find a way to slowly get through all of this.” Susanne nodded, eyes still watering. “Hey…” Marie murmured. “While you think of that, perhaps it’ll make you feel better to know more about me? You may find that our reactions to things can be pretty similar.” Susanne looked curiously towards Marie. “You see…” Marie began. “It isn’t very easy to be the top of the class. It requires a lot of hard work and dedication and definitely leads to plenty of stress. I never really asked for this position or attention, but I’ve been trying my best to work through it. To make things worse, let’s just say my home life isn’t so simple either,” she gave a short and nervous laugh. “But anyway, I also attempt to be the ‘model student’ that every teacher wants me to be, keeping most of my emotions inside of me instead of acting them out. I know this is a bad habit and only leads to things being more difficult, but I’ve grown used to it. As you can see, it’s not exactly the same as your ordeal, but perhaps we can help each other, you know?”

Susanne nodded again and held tighter to the embrace, before speaking up. “Yeah...we can get through it together, as a team.” Her voice was hoarse from crying, but honest all the same. “Also...I’ve realized why I might be so terrified of receiving care from others…”

“Oh?” Marie responded inquisitively. “And why might that be?”

“W-well...the last time I cared so deeply for someone and they cared for me, something bad happened to them...a-and I lost them...I guess I got it stuck in my mind that I was the cause of it due to grief and didn’t deserve any sympathy, as well as I didn’t want anyone else I held close to my heart to be taken away as well…”

“Oh Susie…” Marie replied sympathetically. “I’m so sorry to hear that...but I think I see what may be able to help you.” 

Susanne wanted to ask what kind of solution would help a useless wreck like herself, but remained quiet and only looked in puzzlement towards Marie.

“Someone caring and looking out for you is exactly what you need right now. You’ve been so deprived of these emotions that it’s tearing you apart. I know that this won’t be an easy role to fulfill and that it may not go smoothly all the time, but...Susie...I want to help you through this. Come to me whenever you need something, anything at all, and I’ll do it because I care for you and you deserve these feelings.”

Susanne looked afraid, but slowly nodded. “O-okay...I-I’ll do my best…I’m not used to having someone like that...thank you…”

Marie smiled warmly to the other girl. “Of course~!” She chimed. She then looked at the sun, which was setting beautifully behind the water, turning the sea and sky a bright red-orange. After admiring it for a few seconds, she added, “Well, it’s getting late. Want to head back towards home?” 

Susanne blinked as she remembered Cloud. She couldn’t believe she had forgotten about the stuffed animal. For some reason, the plush didn’t seem as important to her as it had been a mere few hours ago. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that she had gotten her tears out and now had a real human being to help comfort her. Still though, it would be nice to hug the sheep. She nodded tacitly in response to Marie.

“Alright then, let’s put our shoes on and head back to my car,” Marie replied. The two girls slipped their shoes back on their feet and walked to the car, getting inside the vehicle upon arrival. Once again, the drive was pretty quick and soon Marie was pulling up in Susanne’s driveway. Quick as a bullet, Susanne zoomed off inside the house to find Cloud. She ignored the yelling of her uncle, who was scolding her for being home so late. She stumbled out a few apologies before bursting into her room and holding on tight to Cloud while sitting on her bed. She found it wasn’t as stress-relieving as she had built it up to be. Why was that? What was going on? Why could she never understand her own emotions? It was then that she heard a knock at the door. “C-come in…” Susanne answered quietly, fearing it to be her uncle at the door. She hid her face into the stuffed animal, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes again. She was surprised as she felt a comforting embrace. 

“Susie~!” Marie said the girl’s nickname teasingly. “You can’t just go running off without telling me where you’re going and why! You startled me!”

“I-I’m sorry…” Susanne responded ashamedly, her shoulders tense and head bowed with guilt. 

“Oh, don’t worry about it, I’m only playing!” Marie giggled.

Susanne smiled warmly in reply, relaxing into the hug, which was shockingly comfortable, warm and caring, just like the hugs Susanne’s mother would give. Instead of freaking out and crying over the thought, Susanne only breathed out a sigh of contentment, a tear or two escaping and trailing down her cheeks. She knew that it would be a very windy road to recovery, but with Marie’s help, she was sure she could face the difficulties.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
